Well, what can I say? You keep me busy, boy. It's coming up on Thanksgiving and you are about to turn 4-months old. I just can't believe how fast you are growing and changing. And did I say growing?! Your grandma and grandpa Trusler were here recently (just after Halloween) and had such a good time with you. Your family loves you so much son. I wish everyone was closer so we could all spend more time together, but don't let the distance fool you...everyone loves you so much. Your grandma and grandpa Ellis drive about 10 hours (20 hours round trip) to come see you every month. We love it. Grandma Fairchild will be here for Christmas. She hasn't seen you since you were born and is just aching to get here. I let her talk to you on the phone all the time though.

I don't have a picture for this post because your dad just installed Windows 7 on my computer and moved my pics over to his laptop just in case something fouled up. Wonder what version of Windows will be out when you read this.

As you can tell, I really don't have a topic in mind today...just thought I would put something up for you. I think my next post will be about your daddy. He is just so in love with you. So am I.

You

A few things about you:

You are amazing. Every day I watch you. I watch you see things, I watch you touch things, I watch you try to learn everything you can about this big world you have found yourself in. I hope you always keep the same sense of wonder you have today.

You are beautiful. Every time I look at you I am overwhelmed. I know that your dad and I "made" you, but truly, it feels like you were created by God, perfectly precious, and given to us as a gift to remind us that life is so so good. I hope every time you look in the mirror, you know you are a genuine work of art.

You are brave. Each day I watch you try something new that you haven't tried before and even if it doesn't work out at first, you keep trying. Something as we get older makes us think that giving up is an option. I don't know where that starts but if there is anything I can do to help you avoid that mental pitfall, I will do it. You can do ANYTHING.

You are perfect. I mean, to me you are. You always will be. But the truth is, we all fail sometimes and we all fall short. AND THAT'S OKAY. Too many of us are told that we have to strive for perfection. And even if it isn't spoken aloud, it's implied in our schools, our jobs, and even in our homes. There is no perfection. Never hold yourself to someone else's standard of you. You know who you are.

And if you forget, just start reading from the top again.

I love you.

Growing

Mason,

Well my boy, you just don't sleep enough these days for me to write to you as often as I would like. However, you are mildly snoozing right now, so I will try. I was thinking today about how fast you are growing already. You will be 8 weeks old tomorrow and already are so alert and clearly eager to learn. We play little games together that help you learn and grow (you love to try to put your hand in my mouth - sorry but it's true. Just a week ago you couldn't get it in there without help, but now you are spot on every time!). Last night we all went to Jim and Terry Fredley's baby shower and I watched all the little boys running around completely ignoring their parents and having a wonderful time and I thought, "Wow - one day very soon, Mason will be this age and care nothing about hanging out with me." Right now I am your world. You know my voice now, you smile when you hear me talk coming into your room, I am your favorite person.
Even with that, I want you to know that I will do my very best to let you find your independence. It is so important, son. My hope is that you won't even notice it. You'll just move from one stage of independence to the next with no thought as to how it happened and God forbid, how I feel about it. That's my hope for you.
I will love you always and am so anxious to know the boy and man you will become. But know that really, truly, to me, you will always be 8 weeks old, asleep on my chest, with your little arms wrapped around me. Not because I don't love who you are at the moment or who you have become and what you have achieved, but because there, in that place, you need me...and I will always be there. I love you so much.

Love you

Sweet boy,

I just want to tell you that I love you so much. I didn't think it was possible, but I already am becoming so addicted to you. We go everywhere together and I talk to you about what we are doing. I sing to you and play games with you. I kiss you constantly (sorry). I know there will come a day all too soon when you will not want these things anymore and that's okay. That is how it is supposed to be. But just know that we had these days and I loved them more than anything. You have changed my life in so many ways. You have made me be a better person...a braver person than I thought I could be. I would go to the ends of the earth to protect you from harm and while I may not always be able to give you everything you want, I swear no one will ever love you more. Sleep sweet my son.

Simple Days

My sweet son, You are asleep in the living room and your daddy is upstairs in our loft doing a little work from home. We're listening to Amos Lee and enjoying an afternoon together. This album is so smooth and sweet...it makes me think about other simple days I've had. And you...right now your needs are so simple. Eat, sleep, change a diaper (or 20). But that won't always be the case and so I say these things to myself too. It's so very easy to let the noise of the world pull you from the beauty of it. Everything around you will yell so loudly to you to watch this TV show, buy this thing, jump on the computer, answer your phone. It's so rare that real simple moments find us. What did Ben Harper say?

People spend so much time
every single day
runnin' round all over town
givin' their forever away
But no, not me
I won't let my forever roam
and now I hope I can find
my forever a home

My boy, I so hope for you simple days. I know you will be so full of life and energy and abundance and I wish you all the joy and excitement life has to offer, because there is much of it. But some days a walk by the lake and a cup of coffee can be just as rewarding. I hope to have many simple days together my son. I love you. -Mom

P.S. This picture is not of you, as you can tell. It is the son of a another blogger (unfortunately I do not know her, but her photography is amazing, yes?) This is her son Ben and the pure simple joy she captured here seems appropriate.

In Memory

My dear boy,

The photograph posted here is of your grandfather (my dad) with your great-grandfather (his dad). Both of these fine men are gone now, your great-grandpa some years ago when I was a teenager and your grandpa just a few years ago now. A more detailed posting of who they were will follow later, but for now, just know that I wanted to show this photo to you. The pure simple joy shown here is amazing to me. When I see this picture, I always feel proud for some reason. Proud that I know the men in it. I remember looking at old black and white photos of relatives I never met when I was kid, and if you are anything like any other well-adjusted child/young adult, your eyes will glaze over as mine did. But some day you may care and so that is why I am here today writing this, yes? What I hope you take away here is not that you are obligated to feel tied to these men, although if I do my job here well you may, but that at the end of the day, it is truly only the joy that is remembered. These men were not perfect men. They did not always get along well and both of them had vices and tempers and all sorts of other imperfections. But as I remember them today, they both loved their families, enjoyed an adventure, loved to fish, and cooked a mean steak. I love you my boy.

For Mason...my only reason

This blog is for my son. It is simply a collection of thoughts that one day he may (or may not) want to look back on, knowing not that they were wise or that the words were perfect, but that when they were written, he was the only person in mind. That his sweet face, his beautiful eyes, the hope I see when I look at him, is all I can think of as I type. I also think of my mother today and the hopes she must have had for me when I was a child. It wasn't until my own beautiful son was born that I gave the notion the slightest thought, but as we age, these things become important I suppose. So, it is with that thought that I begin. I love you Mason. So very, very much.