Love you

Sweet boy,

I just want to tell you that I love you so much. I didn't think it was possible, but I already am becoming so addicted to you. We go everywhere together and I talk to you about what we are doing. I sing to you and play games with you. I kiss you constantly (sorry). I know there will come a day all too soon when you will not want these things anymore and that's okay. That is how it is supposed to be. But just know that we had these days and I loved them more than anything. You have changed my life in so many ways. You have made me be a better person...a braver person than I thought I could be. I would go to the ends of the earth to protect you from harm and while I may not always be able to give you everything you want, I swear no one will ever love you more. Sleep sweet my son.

Simple Days

My sweet son, You are asleep in the living room and your daddy is upstairs in our loft doing a little work from home. We're listening to Amos Lee and enjoying an afternoon together. This album is so smooth and sweet...it makes me think about other simple days I've had. And you...right now your needs are so simple. Eat, sleep, change a diaper (or 20). But that won't always be the case and so I say these things to myself too. It's so very easy to let the noise of the world pull you from the beauty of it. Everything around you will yell so loudly to you to watch this TV show, buy this thing, jump on the computer, answer your phone. It's so rare that real simple moments find us. What did Ben Harper say?

People spend so much time
every single day
runnin' round all over town
givin' their forever away
But no, not me
I won't let my forever roam
and now I hope I can find
my forever a home

My boy, I so hope for you simple days. I know you will be so full of life and energy and abundance and I wish you all the joy and excitement life has to offer, because there is much of it. But some days a walk by the lake and a cup of coffee can be just as rewarding. I hope to have many simple days together my son. I love you. -Mom

P.S. This picture is not of you, as you can tell. It is the son of a another blogger (unfortunately I do not know her, but her photography is amazing, yes?) This is her son Ben and the pure simple joy she captured here seems appropriate.

In Memory

My dear boy,

The photograph posted here is of your grandfather (my dad) with your great-grandfather (his dad). Both of these fine men are gone now, your great-grandpa some years ago when I was a teenager and your grandpa just a few years ago now. A more detailed posting of who they were will follow later, but for now, just know that I wanted to show this photo to you. The pure simple joy shown here is amazing to me. When I see this picture, I always feel proud for some reason. Proud that I know the men in it. I remember looking at old black and white photos of relatives I never met when I was kid, and if you are anything like any other well-adjusted child/young adult, your eyes will glaze over as mine did. But some day you may care and so that is why I am here today writing this, yes? What I hope you take away here is not that you are obligated to feel tied to these men, although if I do my job here well you may, but that at the end of the day, it is truly only the joy that is remembered. These men were not perfect men. They did not always get along well and both of them had vices and tempers and all sorts of other imperfections. But as I remember them today, they both loved their families, enjoyed an adventure, loved to fish, and cooked a mean steak. I love you my boy.

For Mason...my only reason

This blog is for my son. It is simply a collection of thoughts that one day he may (or may not) want to look back on, knowing not that they were wise or that the words were perfect, but that when they were written, he was the only person in mind. That his sweet face, his beautiful eyes, the hope I see when I look at him, is all I can think of as I type. I also think of my mother today and the hopes she must have had for me when I was a child. It wasn't until my own beautiful son was born that I gave the notion the slightest thought, but as we age, these things become important I suppose. So, it is with that thought that I begin. I love you Mason. So very, very much.